Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
