Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
