How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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