Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
