pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
