Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
