Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I will die if light touches me.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
