I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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