Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
