This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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