Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
