we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
