Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
