i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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