Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
