Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
