Buhtt sex?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
