they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
