I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
