break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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