VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
