I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
