just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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