i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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