so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
