If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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