You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
