I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
