Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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