honey bunches of taint.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
