I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize