Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
