I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
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