So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
