I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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