we have officially lost it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
