so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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