shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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