but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
