I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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