Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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