Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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