They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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