careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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