I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she pinky promised me she was 18
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
