Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
