Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
