I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
