capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
