Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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