i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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