can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
