he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
