playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
