You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she told me i tasted like america
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
