So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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