You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
