In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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