dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
