Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize