I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
