I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize