but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
