This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
