He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
