get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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