I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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