At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
