She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
